I AM DEARLY LOVED
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
I can’t believe “Dearly Loved” is going to be out in the wild in 6 days! Crazy town. Before that happens, I wanted to share with you guys a little bit about the song itself and what it was inspired by. I wrote this tune with my friends Ethan Hulse and Luke Brown, who also produced this track and made it sound all kinds of magical. They are great songwriters and people and are some of my favorite musicians to create with. I brought in a picking pattern and some melodies, and it wasn’t long before we dove into all the feelings (my favorite thing, obvs). Ethan mentioned the phrase “dearly loved”, and that sparked so many emotions in me.
And here enters my fear of abandonment! Woo!
Everybody, I think, has what I’ll just call a base-line fear. It’s the one that is kind of underneath all of the other ones. It tends to drive a lot of knee jerk reactions, triggers a lot of emotional responses, and tries it’s best to direct our choices. It’s the one that is the easiest for the enemy to use, and the hardest for me to get a grip on. Mine happens to be the fear of abandonment. The fear that I will be alone, that no one could ever truly love me, that everyone will eventually leave me. Especially when they figure out how insanely extra and self-centered I am. Especially when they really, REALLY see me for who I am.
How sad is that?! It’s sad. You can say it. IT’S FINE. But no really, it’s actually fine lol. Because there is beauty that comes from knowing my base-line fear (thanks, therapy!). It means I can try my best to stay just one step ahead of it. It means I can pray and ask the Spirit to teach me what is actually true. It allows me to speak out against it and take away just a little bit of it’s power. And there’s another lovely thing about knowing this fear: I can look directly at the character of God and ask myself if that is true about him. Does what scripture says about God and what has been revealed to me about his character sound like he is the type that would up and leave me the minute things get messy?
Nope.
In fact, it says the opposite. That is the difference and the beauty of our love story with God. It is unlike any human relationship we will ever have. Because whether by death or by circumstance, every relationship on earth ends at some point. It is simply the mortality of the human condition. But God's love lasts way beyond that, and that can be hard to wrap our finite minds around. It actually makes no sense, because what kind of relationship do we have to compare it to? There isn’t one. It’s completely unique. But I mean, why would we want to serve a God who is just as limited as we are? Why would we want a spiritual relationship that is just as messy and unpredictable as our ones here on earth?
So, to me, this song acts as a lullaby that sways me back into believing and trusting that God is a Father who will never leave me. I remember feeling so emotional while we were writing this. I mean, every worship write tends to be emotional for me LOL shocker, but this one felt particularly special. Not because we just KNEW it was going to be a SmAsH #1 ChArT tOPpin HIT, but because it was already ministering to each of us in it’s own way. It was like the words were washing over me, reassuring me, wrapping me up and holding me still.
He will never leave me nor forsake me.
I can fall apart and He isn't going anywhere.
He doesn’t think I’m “too much”.
He is a safe place to land.
And that is enough. Even on the days I don’t feel it, it’s enough.
So, I hope this song is a lullaby for you as well. My prayer is that it becomes a sweet reminder to the Church of the uniqueness and the safety of our relationship with the Lord. Of course it doesn’t make sense. Of course it is mind-boggling. But shouldn’t that elicit even more worship? I hope it does.
LYRICS:
Here, as you surround my heart
I have found a safe place to fall apart
And you pick me up again, remind me to whom I belong
I have never been more than a child in your arms
When you are holding me, I don’t have to be strong
Cuz I know…
I am loved, dearly loved
By a father who won’t leave me
I am loved, dearly loved by you, God.
Its enough, always enough
I can let my guard down here cuz I am loved, dearly loved
By you, God
Here as you restore my soul
Piece by piece you patiently make me whole
And you pick me up again, remind me to whom I belong
I have never been more than a child in your arms
When you are holding me, I don’t have to be strong
Cuz I know…
I am loved, dearly loved
By a father who won’t leave me
I am loved, dearly loved by you, God.
Its enough, always enough
I can let my guard down here cuz I am loved, dearly loved
By you, God
When I couldn’t reach you, you pulled me in
When I had given up, you never quit
When I couldn’t trust you, you proved me wrong
When I was a stranger, you brought me home.